It hurts. I’ve got this storm that’s crashing inside of me. A gentle rain to those around, but a hell of a tsunami drowning me from the inside out. Waves crashing upon my tired body. A feeling so cold. The sting like that of torns smacking across every inch of my skin. Something so chaotic, yet no one can see. No one can hear my screams. The tears are invisible. Almost as this was all part of my imagination.
It hurts. Ive given up so much. Always have. Probably always will. That’s just who I am. I put others first. I sacrifice my dreams. My journey. My potential. All in the hopes that happiness will shine upon others. Glow in ways I never could. But I’ve given too much. I can not replenish these pockets of mine.
It hurts. Im walking slowly down this road. There is a cross road ahead and I must make a choice. One says “Do as you have done.” And the other says “Do something for you.” I can see the outcomes spread out like a deck of cards on a table in front of me. Occasional Jokers and Wilds, but I can see my hand. So I finally do something for me and hurt so many people around me, or do I continue to tread water and gasp for air in this tsunami.
It’s hurts. Not knowing what to do. It hurts. It hurts.
Lisa Pinelli 